October 31st, 2006

Happy Halloween!

Today is the first official entry for my blog. I woke up this morning to the sound of my stereo, at 5:30. But I turned it off and went back to sleep. My mother woke me up again at 6:00, which didn't give me a chance to take a shower, just to get some jeans (which I hate, because they are not comfortable, too big) and a green t-shirt which lets my bra show through, on, underneath a black GAP sweatshirt which I think is overworn. I made my hair into a quickponytail but my black curly hair was too explosive, so I decided to braid it. I hadn't done that I a long time... I guess it wasn't that bad.

I got to school on time and had no breakfast and packed no lunch once again. My first class was Bio lab. I remembered I was supposed to finish last week's report plus the week before last's report too, none of which were actually finished. The last one wasn't even started. I tried to do it 5 minutes before the bell rang for class, but soon enough I realized... the really was no hope. I think I sort of understood more that I need to do thingsand concentrate on doing them. So I got a 5 on that report and luckily, the rest of the group hadn't strted the other report yet, so the teacher gave us a chance to hand it it next week, graded over 8. Saved a bit, I guess. I am really going to do it this time. The next class I spent working on the homework that wasd ue today for Etymology, which he talked about 1 week ago. (!!!) I finished on time. At our 30 minute recess, I was sitting in the classroom talking with some girls. (Laura, the girl I am normally with in school is on vacations for the week, so I have actually been talking to more people in the clasroom these 2 days.) I also noticed I am complaining less about being in school and teachers, maybe I do it to impress her?? In Bio class, I actually paid attention and wrote things down in my Biology notebook. (WOW). Same with Math. I was a little bit more interested in the class than usual. It sometimes pisses me off that doing assignments and homeworks or simply working in class seems to be so difficult for me, and I keep putting it off, when before, I did everything as soon as I knew I had to, or at least it wasn't that hard to get started. It seemslike I know there are so many things to do which I can easily do, but I keep putting them off or leaving them for the last minute... and I hardly ever do anything properly anymore. Not like I used to. I don't like depending on other people for homeworks and projects. I like doing my own things.

My last classes were OK, I talked to people I hadn't really talked to and I had an overall good day. For a while I wasfeeling really sleepy, I don't know if I was too hungry or what. When I finished Health lab, I walked straight out of the classroom, and then I realized y wasmissing my wallet and sweatshirt. That happens often, I don'tknow why... I am not concentrated enough and tend to forget things easily. I wans't like that. I need to concentrate on what I'm doing. I am smart enough!!!

After school, I stay for Photography class from 3:30 to 6:40 Mondays and Tuesdays. Today I decided to eat outside of school before Photo class, instead of the cafeteria... I am bored of the food there. I went to a small restaurant behind school and sat down. I was sitting alone in a table for 4, and the place was full. 2 older girls were waiting for a table and standing next to me. I don't know why I didn't tell them to go ahead and sit there with me... I just pretended I sw nothing and nothing was going on. I really can't understand why I did it... maybe I feel threatened by girls who are around my age and are prettier?? Anyways, the restaurant lady came up tome and kindly asked me if they could sit there, of course I said yes. But the rest of the time I was there was very awkward... I didn't talk to them even thouh we were sitting together for 30 minutes... sometimes it amazes me how I can be so secure with some people and so extroverted... and totally become another person in situations like that. I felt like I couldn't look up. I has hearing their conversation and there were times I wanted to say something, but I felt like I shouldn't or they shouldn't hear what I had to say. ?? The thought struck my mind that I lost the chance to make 2 new friends. It was very strange... then a piece of bread was choking meand I had to cough very hard for like 5 minutes, which was very embarrassing. They left before me and I felt relieved. Then I went to photography class which was actually a bit interesting this time. Sometimes I think it is really tedious because I know most of the stuff they are teaching us.. and sometimesI think I know it all, I know it is not true, but it can seem slow when you get everything quickly and they spend an entire class on the same matter. I also don't like that they teach us in the same way traditional classes are given in Mexico, when this is (or is supposed to be) a very practical class. Photography, for God's sake! You can't spend 3 hours inside a clasroom. Today's class was good, though. Sometimes I think the teacher doesnt know enough, though. Anyway, then I called mymom so she would pick me up, and I actually spoke to her more than 3 words which I have been doing for the past weeks. We met somewhere in the middle of the way, and I came back home, where I decided to work on homework!!! I have not beenmean to mymom the whole afternoon and I am actually in a good mood with everyone around me. That is good. :)

I managed to get the most important things done quickly and well done, and plus I got today's entry done! Yay!!

Good night, I must wake up early tomorrow. I have a presentation to do.

Love,
Natalia.